I have a confession. I have become a mass murderer, plotting genocide, stalking my victims and taking enormous pleasure in killing them. I have turned from a being a hippy brained idealist, who believed that love was all we needed, that all creatures on this earth need equal rights, and that one should turn the other cheek, to a monster who finds it impossible to forgive and forget, a natural killer who declares that vengeance in mine. This deterioration in my character is all because I have started seriously keeping a kitchen garden, trying to live more healthily by eating more fresh food and spending more time with nature, trying to do my bit for the planet by eating less food grown with pesticides and shipped or flown or trucked to my local supermarket from far away.
When I started this venture at the start of the year, as many of you know, we bought a rabbit, called Ralph, that I had fallen in love with for his lovely gentle character, and intended to feed him with weeds, pruning and offcuts from my own vegetable consumption. I used his droppings and old straw as compost for my new vegetable garden,
We also bought six chickens of varying breeds and ages - 2 Wyandottes, a Sussex,
and three crossbreeds of Leghorn, Australorp and Isa Brown -
and Bob built a chicken Taj Mahal with a large yard full of weeds for them to live as close to a free range existence as possible. (From previous experience, we knew that they would destroy our garden completely and take over the house if we let them have access to the whole garden. Plus, Maisie, our cairn terrier, seems to think that her vocation in life is to kill anything that moves and free range chickens are, in her mind, take away chicken.) These chickens were to share the weeds and garden trimmings with Ralph, and our kitchen scraps with the compost bins, provide us with eggs and manure and compost for the vegetable garden and they have done that admirably.
Next, we cleared the garden of weeds and old plants, pruned existing fruit trees, keeping them as far as possible from the fences to deter possums, and planted a vegetable garden and potted herb garden. So far, so good. I thought I had self-sufficiency down easy.
The first obstacle was that earwigs invaded the rabbit hutch. I tried flea powder but that didn't work. I am still working on a solution for poor Ralph.
Then, local birds noticed I was giving supplementary feeds to the chickens and decided to partake. The stupid chickens seem to be lacking a territory gene and I can only hope that our Maine Coon cats' occasional strolls round the garden will deter them.
The second obstacle was the amount of water needed to keep the garden alive and thriving. It isn't even high summer and yet we have run out of water in the tank twice now and have realised the need to install more water tanks so that our water bill doesn't drive us bankrupt.
Then, I discovered that vegetables need a great deal of nourishment - more than my compost and manure could provide. My neighbour and grandaughter introduced me to the joys of fortnightly doses of Seasol and told me that I should have fed the tomatoes with lime when I planted them. I also discovered that mulch is no good until the seeds have grown into sizeable plants.
Next came the problem of mice devouring seedlings. We cleaned out the old compost bins and religiously avoided putting the wrong ingredients in the newly empty bins. We pulled down an old shed, and are removing the old fence which both provided shelter for rodents. The dogs seem to be doing their bit by barking at them too but aren't much good as killers. They are much less successful than the local owls at killing them. Evidence: the innards of a corpse dropped onto my car from the telephone wire above it.
If that wasn't enough, I noticed holes on the leaves of my finally thriving vegetables. Turns out that the earwigs and cabbage moth caterpillars have moved into the garden, and they are not being balanced by the good guys: silver-eyes, ladybirds, et al. After a while, I noticed all I was getting was stalks instead of leaves. And, with the warming days, the gall wasps have returned to my lovely lemon tree. This was the point where I turned into a mass murderer. I still haven't resorted to pesticides, but three times a day at least, I roam the garden searching for earwigs and caterpillars. Then, I take the wriggling bodies to my chickens who seem deeply suspicious of the earwigs, but adore the fat green caterpillars. I take enormous pleasure in the hunt, the capture and the extermination now. The gall wasps are dealt with by using sticky tubes to trap them and cutting off affected branches and putting them into the council green bin.
As a result of my reign of terror, for the first time, I feel we are ahead of the predators. We are now eating the results of our hard work (as is Maisie - she has worked out that strawberries taste good) and our garden is looking lush.
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And best of all, my granbdchildren now have the pleasure of roaming round my garden foraging for fruit and vegetables and eggs, just like my children did in their paternal grandparents' garden in Sarsfield.. For instance, this week, Miss 3 had a lovely time sampling the raw broad beans, peas, strawberries and raspberries.
We have enjoyed Asian greens in our stir fries:
Bob has discovered that he doesn't mind the the type of kale we are growing, when I saute it with tomatoes, parsley, olive oil, balsamic vinegar and salt and pepper.
The ruby chard will be used with fetta and spinach and wrapped and baked in filo pastry. The rhubarb was used to make icy poles
Rhubarb and Yoghurt Icy Poles
Materials:
750g chopped rhubarb
3/4 cup castor sugar
1/4 cup water
1 cup yoghurt
Method:
Heat rhubarb, water and sugar until rhubarb is cooked. Cool and mash.
Roughly stir in yoghurt.
Place in icy pole moulds and freeze.
We have eaten our variegated lettuce, zucchini, spinach and variegated radishes which taste like radishes used to.
And we have enjoyed our own lovely artichokes.
We have been bottling prunes in port and dried fruit in brandy, but we have also bottled our own cumquats in brandy.
Cumquats in Brandy:
Ingredients:
Cumquats
Sugar- about 125 g sugar to 500g sugar
Brandy
Method:
Collect your cumquats and prick all over with a skewer.
Place in a sterilised jar.
Pour on sugar and brandy.
Shake to dissolve sugar every dsy
Murder does have its good side.
